The other morning I had brunch with a new friend whose child, like mine, has some Sensory Processing Disorders. We were chatting about the school our kids attended and I shared with her some of the struggles we had with my son’s second-grade teacher and the school’s principal. It was the time in our process of attempting to “diagnose” a cause for the behavioral struggles, and find ways to support him. He would get up and leave the classroom without permission, avoid bring home his work folder, and obstinately refuse to do certain class assignments. He would essentially just shut down.
These behaviors resulted in trips to see the principal and losing recess privileges. There were many pre-conclusions about what was wrong with my son. Most of those circled around behavior correction, compliance, and comparing him to a “normal student” with an expectation that he should be able to behave more like his peers.
It wasn’t pleasant and left a very bitter taste. I remember feeling that he was misunderstood, and I felt sad and alone in the fight for my child’s success. Unkind words were said by both teacher and administrator. I experienced a huge low.
As I relived some of those moments with my friend, I was shocked to realize how much my son and I have grown and overcome together the past couple years. While the sting of days past is still felt, I also have peace for them as well.
The struggle to understand, sleepless nights, frustrated tears, exhausting worry, anger and my resentment at unkindness, have shaped a hope I wouldn’t have imagined possible. Oh, believe me, I can for sure muster up some of those old friendly feelings, but I also feel so much accomplishment and freedom from it. Maybe I’ve learned to let go a bit, to shrug off the annoyed looks or words; we get them often from people who just don’t know or care to be patient. But for me, I have chosen to seek joy in our successes.
We have difficult days ahead, but more and more often they are 100% filled with fantastic bliss. That feeling is priceless, I hope you can build on that, and cherish it. When those bad days come-because they will most certainly come-take a moment to remember the victories you and your child have won. That’s what will make all the difference in how you face new challenges.